"Texas" Bix Bender
	Gene Autry's "Cowboy Code"

"Just 'cause you're following a well-marked trail don't mean that 

whoever made it knew where they were goin'."--Texas Bix Bender

"Good manners are like a MasterCard: they're welcome everywhere you go."

"If you're on horseback talking to someone and they're on the ground, dismount. 

It ain't polite to talk down to people."

Etiquette is the difference between stable manners and table manners.

"Speak your mind, but ride a fast horse."  -- Texas Bix Bender

"Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat."  -- Texas Bix Bender

"You can't keep trouble from visitin' but you don't have to offer it a chair.
"Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a raindance."

"Most folks are like a barb-wire fence. They have their good points."

Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew.  Your mouth is 
probably a whole lot bigger'n you think. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' 
somebody else's dog around. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

Never ask a man the size of his spread. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good that he started 
roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.  The 
moral: when you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

If you find yourself in a hole the first thing to do is stop diggin'. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

Never follow good whiskey with water, unless you're out of good whiskey. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

Good judgement comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad 
judgment. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

Always drink upstream from the herd. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

Never drop your gun to hug a grizzly. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then 
To make sure it's still there. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be 
suprised if they learn their lesson. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

The best way to have a quiche for dinner is to make it up and put it in 
The oven to bake at 325 degrees. Meanwhile, get out a large T-bone, grill 
it, and when it's done, eat it. As for the quiche, continue to let it bake, 
but otherwise ignore it. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

When you're throwin' your weight around, be ready to have it thrown 
around by somebody else. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

Always take a good look at what you're about to eat.  It's not so 
important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back 
in your pocket. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

A smart-@ss just don't fit in a saddle. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

Never miss a good chance to shut up. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On" 

There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works. 
  -- Texas Bix Bender, "Don't Squat With Yer Spurs On"